Ok so I've been toying with the idea of starting a blog for a long time now. Well I finally decided to bite the bullet and make one. I'm not going to pussyfoot around people's feelings and I'm going to speak my mind. Otherwise it wouldn't be MY blog. If you have a problem with that, you can leave :) First off since I am being completely honest on this blog I will say that YES, my husband and I are trying to conceive. Before you give me your hoorays let me tell you that it has already been a year. For some of you this is no surprise at all. For others *cough* *cough* *my dad's side of the family*, this may be shocking. Mostly because despite my efforts to hint around that we have been suffering you people are too self centered and selfish to care. And since this is MY blog I will state how incredibly RUDE it is to brag about your oh so fertile wife, your "superman sperm", your oops child, and tell me that I need to "hurry up" because you will be trying again when your wife graduates college next spring. Thanks asshole. This is exactly what a couple going through infertility wants to hear.
Anyways...yes, my husband and I have been trying for a year. I say "infertility" because after quitting birth control pills a year ago I have only had 5 periods. 2 have been induced through medication. Such as the cycle I am on now. I chart my basal body temperature and through that have found that I do not ovulate. Therefore I decided to try Soy Isoflavones this cycle. It's taken like Clomid. If you don't know what either of these things are I highly suggest a dictionary, or even google.
That's another thing...women who are trying to have a baby who know NOTHING about their own damn body! I am on a website that has many different groups of women, a lot of whom are trying to conceive as well. I can't tell you how many times I come across a woman who doesn't even know what 2 lines on a pregnancy test means! Give me a fucking break!
Back to the story of me. I'll try to keep this brief since my first entry is already a storybook. Basically my husband and I met in 2005 when I was 16 and he was 19. He moved to be with me and we got married August 11, 2006. In September/October of 2009 we decided it was time to start a family. So I got off of the birth control pills in November of 2009 and we've been trying ever since. Let me tell you why I blame myself for these pills messing me up....my husband and I were both virgins until our wedding night. I decided to start the pill a couple of months before my wedding so that it would be working by the wedding night. I was only on the pill for a little over 3 years. Because I chose to be responsible and save myself for my husband, because I chose to prevent pregnancy when we were both so young, I now suffer.
When my husband and I first met he came to me concerned that he had testicular cancer. I convinced him to go to a doctor and thankfully we were told that he only had a left sided Varicocele (again...google it). This was a huge relief! That is until it came time to start a family and we remembered the doctor telling us how it could cause infertility. Funny how when you are a teenager that stuff just flies out of your mind the second you hear it.
There have been many tearful nights where I blamed myself and my husband blamed himself. I finally got him to go take a semen analysis test. The same exact day that we found out he had got a new job, the doctor called and said his semen was completely normal! I started crying. So much good news had happened that day. My husband's new job will give him insurance after 90 days. We have been waiting for this because I need to see a fertility specialist. Both of us used to work for the family business so we didn't have insurance before.
So this is me now. Waiting to see if I can ovulate for the first time because of the soy and anxiously looking towards the light at the end of the tunnel........
